25 Reasons I Abandoned You This Summer |

My beloved, dedicated readers (all five of you), as I gleefully watched Biggie and Smalls drive away on the bus this morning, I thought of you. I must apologize from the bottom of my heart for the weeks-long silence this summer. I know I’ve hurt you before and made promises to change, but this time I really mean it.

I, MommyEnnui, do solemnly swear that I will post more often going forth, beginning today. I’ve decided that I will keep you updated with bite-sized tidbits of my life, rather than allowing myself to be paralyzed trying to express Big Thoughts. Big Thoughts hurt my brain anyway. I do, however, have some good (and some really pathetic) reasons I abandoned you this summer. Here are a few of them:

1. I’m still upset about Ben and Jen’s breakup.
2. My laptop kept overheating and turning itself off at the pool.
3. I’ve been traveling the world. And by “world,” I mean North Carolina, Washington D.C., and Mexico.
4. The “easy kid” has become the “whiny kid.”
5. The “challenging child” is still a pain in the ass.
6. I’ve been trying to decide what to wear to all my gay friends’ weddings.
7. Entertaining a puppy when it’s 95 degrees out is no picnic.
8. I was busy not cooking nutritious meals for my family.
9. Choosing paint colors for the exterior of the house isn’t a decision to be taken lightly.
10. I went on a road trip with three girls, ages 10 and under, and I’m still recovering.
11. I was working on (feeding) my bikini body.
12. The basil plant wasn’t going to water itself.
13. Facebook.
14. Pinterest.
15. I was Swiffering the floors.
16. Sleeping late felt SO good!
17. I was working the kinks out of a new summer screen-time policy.
18. I organized the house a little.
19. I expended all my energy being outraged by mass shootings and racism.
20. You try to get two girls to decide on new backpacks!
21. I’m newly upset about Gwen and Gavin.
22. Birdie is going through a clingy phase.
23. I had anticipatory stress caused by the mere thought of impending homework.
24. I dreamed I was pregnant and it took weeks to get over the terror.
25. I blinked and summer was over!