A Tale of 2 Mardi Gras

nola_crowd
We have a guest blogger, y’all! Well, actually she’s a guest haiku-er. My brilliant and hilarious friend, Amanda Lockwood wrote this series of haiku as she walked in the Mardi Gras parade in her family friendly neighborhood in Decatur, Georgia. I had to share it with you because it nearly made me pee laughing (good thing I had those c-sections). Enjoy!

A Tale of 2 Mardi Gras

Mardi Gras. Nineties.
A bottle of warm Jäger.
The drunken parades.

Let me show my goods.
And, man, are they good! And firm.
And worth the best beads.

Vomit behind wall.
Illegal public peeing.
Make out with stranger.

Make it home by five.
Five AM, naturally.
Then, begin again

Two thousand sixteen.
A bottle of warm water.
A sober parade.

Nope. No goods to show.
Goods gone bad. Gravity bites.
No beads for these boobs.

Where is the bathroom?!?!?
Seriously, where is it???
Two kids. Bladder’s shot.

No kissing strangers.
Should I make out with Husband
and mortify kids?

Make it home by five.
Five PM, naturally.
Go to bed early.

No Krewe of Zulu.
No Krewe of Rex or Bacchus.
Krewe of Gives No Shit.

2 thoughts on “A Tale of 2 Mardi Gras

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s